Sunday, November 1, 2009

Growing Older and Proud of It

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, well not every time. or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement frog that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.
I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get older and rounder. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You should care less about what other people think. I don't question myself too much anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).


MagnificentDebra said...

There's a lot of wisdom in your writing. I'm still working on attaining the freedom you write about...but am confident it is in there!

Is the top a pic of you and your friends gathered together? I love the pine it yours?

Did you see my city house, country house post? It was good therapy to sort it all out!

Blessings today!

Big Blue House said...

Yes they are some of my friends. I am so lucky to have many dear friends. The house however, is not mine. We had a progressive dinner and this was our first stop. One of these girls and I had appetizers and that is what we are doing here. I should write about my progressive dinner. It was truly fun and for those that don't know how they work, I could tell you and you can have one.

The Fragrant Muse said...

Just found your blog this morning and am so glad I did. This is a wonderful post and the timing is perfect for me. I turned 52 recently and my age has been bothering me. Thank you for this wonderful and important reminder!

Marion Williams-Bennett said...

I just found your blog, too and I am so thrilled! It's wonderful here! I am in my late 40's and feel like I am just starting to come into some of these same wonderful/complex places -
I just love reading about your perspectie on life, it's so affirming!

Big Blue House said...

Thank you Deb, Fragrantmuse and Marion for visiting my blog. I am glad you liked my post. I don't have time to post every day but love to when I get time. Come back soon.