LIFE

Don't take life too seriously.

No one makes it out alive anyway.

FRIENDS

Friends are like balloons;

Once you let them go, you might not get them

back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own
lives and problems that we may not even notice
that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so
caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we
forget what's right and wrong.. Sometimes we just
don't realize what real friendship means until it
is too late. I don't want to let that happen so
I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!

An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

Joke of the Day

Two Polish (you may put in your own nationality) hunters got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose.

The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both.... and he had exactly the same airplane as yours."

Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.

However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Stan survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Stosh asked Stan, "Any idea where we are?"

Stan replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

The Crabby Old Man

I recently received this story and poem from a good friend through email. You might have already read it but I felt strongly that it is worth sharing here.

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing ho9me in North Platte, Nebraska, it was believed he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri.

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the internet.

CRABBY OLD MAN

What do you see nurses?......What do you see?
What are you thinking.....when you're looking at me?

A crabby old man....not very wise.

Uncertain of habit.....with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food.....and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice.....'I do wish you'd try!'

Who seems not to notice.....the things that you do.

And forever is losing.....A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not.....lets you do as you will.

With bathing and feeding.....The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking?.....Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse.....you're not loking at me.

I'll tell you who I am.....As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding.....as I eat at your will
I'm a small child of Ten.....with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters.....who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen.....with wings on his feet.

Dreaming that soon now.....a lover he'll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty.....my heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows.....that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now.....I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide.....And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty.....My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other.....With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons.....have grown and are gone,

But my woman's beside me...to see I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,

Again, we know children..... My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me.....my wife is now dead.

I look at the future.....shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing.....young of their own.

And I think of the years.....and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man.....and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age.....look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles.....grace and vigor, depart.

There is now a stone.....where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass.....a young guy still dwells,

And now and again.....my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys...... I remember the pain.

And I'm loving and living.....life over again.

I think of the years, all too few.....gone too fast.

And accept the stark fact.....that nothing can last.

So OPEN YOUR EYES, people....OPEN AND SEE.
Not a crabby old man....Look closer.....see ME!!!!!!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the 'young soul' within. We will all, one day, be there, too!

The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched.

They must be flet by the heart.

Noah's Ark

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark .

ONE: Don't miss the boat.

TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to

do something really big.

FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

SIX: Build your future on high ground.

SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.

TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT AND CHILDREN

I read this story and it made me laugh so I thought I would share it with you. It could probably have been written about my daughter and her family as about many families. This holiday season, lets remember what it is truely about. Take time for Christmas Pageants, Christmas Teas, Christmas Programs. You will have a better Christmas season if you do.

Choose Joy.

The reason for the Season

My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time) for five years

but hadn't been blessed with a baby.

I decided to do some serious praying and promised God that if he would give us a child, I would be a perfect mother, love it with all my heart and raise it with His word as my guide.

God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son.

The next year God blessed us with another son.

The following year, He blessed us with yet another son.

The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty.

We now had four children, and the oldest was only four years old.

I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it.

As a minister once told me, "If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children

each day as they lay in their cribs. I was off to a good start.

God had entrusted me with four children and I didn't want to disappoint Him.

I tried to be patient the day the children smashed two dozen eggs on the

kitchen floor searching for baby chicks.

I tried to be understanding... when they started a hotel for homeless

frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took

me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs.

In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers,

never eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time

I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promiseto be a perfect mother - I didn't even come close....

I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God.

I knew I was missing the mark just a little when

I told my daughter we were going to church to worship God,

and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to "wash up" Jesus, too.

Something was lost in the translation

when I explained that God gave us everlasting life,

and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his "last wife."

My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant.

My daughter was playing Mary,

two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man.

This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line,

We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes."

But he was nervous and said,"The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes."

My four-year-old "Mary" said,"That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly.
That's dirty, rotten clothes."

A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd and

was stopped by an angel, who bent her halo and lost her left wing.

I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped

the doll representing Baby Jesus,

and it bounced down the aisle crying, "Mama-mama."

Mary grabbed the doll, wrapped it back up and held it tightly

as the wise men arrived.

My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown,

knelt at the manger and announced,"

We are the three wise men, and we are bringing gifts of gold, common sense, and fur.

The congregation dissolved into laughter,and the pageant got a standing ovation.

I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this one,"laughed

the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes.

"For the rest of my life, I'll never hear the Christmas story

without thinking of gold, common sense and fur."

"My children are my pride and my joy and my greatest blessing,"

I said as I dug through my purse for an aspirin.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.

Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.

Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.

Had no army, yet kings feared Him.

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us.